Helping.Mom

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Daughter Vivian helps us today answer the age-old Q: why we are here, what we are supposed to be doing, and why. These are critical to know, as caregivers. Come let us study together.  

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) I think term "parental control" applies more to regulating your aging parent's cell phone, than your childrens'. Decluttering your mom's phone is like swatting mosquitos in Summer in Indiana--you gotta stay at it. It never stops. With her phone, you must delete apps, eliminate notifiers, and remove access to bank, financial & other accounts on regular basis. K.I.S.S. is the motto to maintain cell phone calmness. Get all apps to 1 screen, mimic her phone to your phone, direct to one source for all shopping. And watch like a hawk! I never imagined that being guardian for mom would require so much ongoing time simpliying her phone. But apps & notifiers multiply like, well, mosquitos....So, keep swatting!     

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Self-pity is the self-dug grave of caregivers. Why Me, Woe is Me. I dont deserve this, I didnt ask for this. Why dont they, When will they... SP is worsened by our culture of selfishness, our online/on-phone isolation, and breakdown in family structures. SP focuses on what we are losing rather than gaining. But there are 6 things we can do to help, beginning with practicing self-kindness and remembering (and not straying far from our) our own strengths. Please share your own ideas with us at info@helping.mom 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Nothing is more untrue than, "Sticks & Stones may break bones, BUT WORDS CAN NEVER HURT US." Every pain I have suffered in life, and most I have inflicted on others, has been the result of words--hateful words, mean words, destructive words. Words that tear down, vs build.  Today on helping.mom we talk about a different sub-set of words--what I call "Wasted Words." Words that may be true, but which nonetheless add no value to our caregiving--which words prove more cost than benefit. And, there are many in caregiving. Complaining, Justifying, Giving too much detail, Arguing on any topic, Comparing yourself to anyone else, Defending yourself. The list is long. But there are right uses of the tongue, to help us "Speak Life" (Toby Mac) into our loved one. Today we discuss both wasted & useful words on our podcast. Thanks for joining us. Please share your own ideas to Info@Helping.Mom 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) What not to think about is the epitome of positive self-discipline. Think of the squirrel who loses half by thinking of all. The weight of wrong thinking submerges the caregiver, more than the doing of required tasks; our battles are more within than without. Mental minimalism is knowing what NOT to think about, so we can channel available energy, light & flow to care for others--while caring for ourself. Today Terry shares 7 things we must NOT think about to be effective caregivers--beginning with perfectionism and ending with criticism. Please share your own ideas to Info@helping.mom  

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) At helping.mom we also love dads! In fact, my hero is the man who does the hard, silent work of being dad, who daily stands by the stuff, with no appreciation. So, how do we love him? Who is he? How does he love us--in his own way? HOW can we better develop our own relationship with him? Gary Chapman offers insight, via his 5 Love Languages: Words, Gifts, Acts, Time, Touch. Today we dig into these, to first help you understand YOU, then to help you develop a greater relationship with your dad. This is especially critical for caregivers. Share your own ideas to info@helping.mom

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) "Meet the New Boss," Pete Townsend wrote, in classic 1971 song "Wont Get Fooled Again." Not sure which is greater--Roger Daltry's scream there, or my mom reading Jesus Christ here in Matthew 9:16-17. Jesus is the New Boss, and he is not like the Old Boss. He does not come to patch holes, or fill gaps. He is the cloth that covers. Take a listen today!   

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Who is this man you are caring for, are married to, or are yourself? Do you know this man who sits quiet at kitchen table, alone, looking far outside? Do you know this man whom you call "sir?" Have you thought today what he is thinking about. Do you know what he has seen--in his own father, in this world, and what he sees in you? The 5-fold duty of dad is to protect, provide, teach, guide and enjoy his children. I love everything about being dad--especially the hard parts. Dads do, Dads build, Dads plant, Dads endure, Dads take comfort knowing God is a man.  

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Widows are like homeless--we define them by what they DONT have. Forever they are labeled in sadness & want. We never hear a Cyndi Lauper song, "Widows, just want to have fun--un!" Teen boys scarce scan their father's mags for a widow centerfold. So, should I date a widow? Can I compete with a dead man? Am I marrying her for HIS money, or is she marrying me because he left her none? Will her kids accept me, or compare me? There is no recovery or healing from widowhood, except remarriage. But can a current beau forge a new future with this lovely lasse, or is he/they mired in someone else's past, perpetually. Today we tackle these questions, while laughing at joke, "Have you heard about the guy who married a widow....?" 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) HOW do we know being a man married to a wife is MUCH harder than being a wife married to a man? Listen today, as Terry shares facts about widowhood in America. There are 14M widows in USA, and 3.5M widowers (man whose wife has died), with 50,000 new widows added each month. Avg age of widow is much younger than you think--59YOA (which means most are hot!), but economic impact of death of husband is huge upon widows. The Widowhood Effect is true. But 3 Myths continue to circulate about widows, which are not. And, No culture of world celebrates widowhood. In most places a stigma attaches to the widowed wife she never loses. Please join us on an interesting survey of facts of widowhood.